Our Path to Adoption: How We Found An Unexpected Ally

"Grandma told us that before she gave the kids up to foster care, she asked her church for help finding these kids a home. No one came forward. When she went back to church and told the pastor that the kids were with two gay men, all of the sudden the church was full of options. But it was too late, Grandma realized that these kids are the kids that Wes and I have been dreaming of..."

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Brittany & Jessica in Mississippi

Brittany and Jessica are still interested in adopting a child from foster care. But despite helping overturn the state’s ban on same-sex adoption, Mississippi lawmakers doubled-down on discrimination in 2016, passing HB1523, a sweeping “license to discriminate” law that authorizes Mississippi child welfare providers to refuse to work with LGBTQ prospective parents.

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David's Story

“As long as I can remember, I have been in DCF care….My mother was amazing. I remember always wanting to tell her that I was gay but just couldn’t muster the courage to. We had one problem though. Money. Every month, on the last week, we would go out to every church we could to get food to last us until the next food stamp payment. To this day I can't stop feeling like I'm not allowed inside a church because of who I am.”

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Marcus' Story

“In foster care we try so hard to please everyone as best as we can on top of dealing with any past demons. I always feared I would be kicked out of a household for being who I was or not be able to get adopted. Unfortunately, I never did get adopted, but the independence and confidence I gained from that was definitely helpful for me. I began to come out to my friends and other foster youth and was able to embrace and accept who I was.”

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Tim's Story

“To this day I can still not figure out why the department thought that it was a good idea to put an LGBTQ youth in a Christian organization that is openly against LGBTQ. While with this organization I felt like I was a prisoner and could not openly be who I was.”

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Dameon's Story

“Even worse was having to join [my foster parents] when they would go on anti-LGBT rants just so I could feel secure in that I wouldn’t be kicked out of their home. My story isn’t all bad. Eventually, I became comfortable in who I was – I made friends in high school who identified on the spectrum. They made me feel safe and helped me to understand that I wasn’t an abomination – I’m just human. “

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Courtney's Story

“Even though my foster mom, who came to be my adopted mom didn’t accept who I loved; I was stronger than everything I went through. I overcame so much to be who I am.  I went through a lot of court dates, trial, losing people and gaining people; it wasn’t easy, but it was my life. I wasn’t going to let one more adult ruin it for me.”

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Eric's Story

“A common question in child welfare is “what does normalcy look like?” …. As it pertains to LGBTQ youth, there may not even be a stable household open enough for youth to have these conversations to help themselves figure their life out; or being forced to participate in a religion that admonishes individuals who identify as LGBTQ.”

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Tristan's Story

“Being in foster care is hard enough without tacking on the extra weight of being LGBTQ….there is no curriculum in the state of Nevada’s foster parent training that focuses on how to care for LGBTQ foster youth. For example, my caseworker’s supervisor saw no problems with my caseworker's behavior toward me, openly admitted to not understanding trans issues and refused attempts to have conversations about it. “

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Mark's Story

“My foster parents did not know how to be supportive, caring, and understanding. When they found out I was gay, they were angry. My foster dad said that I couldn’t be gay in his house. They did not speak to me….It took a while for them to learn, but now they are accepting and loving, and admitted to their faults in the past. I was their first exposure to LGBTQ people.”

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Guest User2018, Foster Club
Veda's Story

“I want the general public to know that LGBTQ youth that are in the child welfare system are just like every other youth that are in the system. We all go through hardships and downfalls, but we are all human. At the end of the day, we just want someone to be by our side, support us, and let us know that we’re worth it; that we’re destined to succeed.”

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Guest User2018, Foster Club
Julia's Story

“Aside from refusing to believe that I was genuinely attracted to the same sex, [my foster mother] also punished me by… Ironically, I would later find out that her actions were not fueled by hate at all and that she herself was also gay. Fearing that the state would remove her foster parent license for influencing my sexuality, she adamantly discouraged me from being vocal or honest about whom I was attracted to.”

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